okay……so many changes have been affecting me in the past year. Not only have I come out to the world that I am gay, but I have gone through the whole process of a divorce, moved out, and currently am working a new job. I have been here 2 weeks and I just love the fact that I can walk to work… Yay!!!!!!
So, lets start with the whole coming out process……
I have been afraid to be completely the way I have felt since I was a teenager. I saw viloent acts committed towards those like me. I always felt it was safer to hide. Then in my twenties I felt safe enough to tell my closest friends and family that I was bi-sexual….so I had my foot halfway out the door. Ofcourse, since 1998 I had been married to a wonderful person who happened to be a man. I have felt disconnected sexually to him since the beginning, but we had moments of connectedness. Then I lost it all together and it scared me. I was terrified to take all my walls down and be completely exposed to the world. What would happen if people I trusted stopped loving me? What if people in my community judged me? What will the affects of my actions be on my children? It was the scariest thing I ever had to face. It was easy to pretend until I met Julie. When I met her for the 1st time, my life was changed forever. I knew I needed to face my fears for the chance to experience life in her presence. (to be continued)
